mi vida, recently

i dont write enough about my life, i do but i dont. i write think pieces about my life and my thoughts but never like a journal type style where i tell you what i did, what i ate and who i had a crush on, so i feel like writing something like that, like a journal entry; so what do you say? shall i take a wack at it, because i am really good in writting in my book of spells aka my journal.

what ive been doing so far this summer:

vacationing in puerto rico for my hubby 34th birthday, after 6 years together we finally took the plunge and we adopted a chichachua after playing around with a lot of different names such as chuleta, chanqleta (flip flop) queso, jamon, yes lots of food options, we went with Sauve because it fits his demeanor, smooth and cool and calm, that our baby boy.

he’s 10 weeks old and we take him everywhere we go and everyone just swoons when they see him, its the cutest thing to see peoples reactions. We got him from my MIL, She has been breeding these dogs for years, these are chichucha dynasties we’re talking about. i knew his grandma. so this is a real family matter and it feels right considering my hubs and I are not having any kids together. One and done thank you. however I cant believe how much having a puppy has bought so much joy to my life. everywhere we go get attention and lord knows I do love me some attention.

I walked to canada and it was surreal! i never thought i would walk to another country but i did and i got to see niagra falls from the canada side and holy shit, was better than anything i’ve ever seen, ok maybe the grand canyon but thats it. actually i think i like niagra falls better because i’m a water girl and taking that boat ride to the falls was like being in a walking dope ass dream. and all that nice stuff they say about canadians is true. the smiles and the compliments was something i wish i saw more in the states. 10/10 recommend.

me living the dream

I never thought i’d walk to another country but I did! 

In other news,I didn’t make it to the second round of my area's funniest comedian competition, which is cool. I wasn’t exactly in love with my set; I tried out some new jokes, and I realized that I need to walk before I can joke. i’m still very much a baby at this. technically I didn’t start taking stand up serious until this past march. but you best believe i’m headed back next year to claim my crown.

i made a friend last year on bumble bff and she told me she was bi too, and also married like me. things hit it off and then they fizzled out. in January I told her that I liked her and wanted to see where thing would progress, she agreed, we’ve gone out a couple times with great vibes but the one night I went in to kiss her goodnight on the lips, she swerved it, so after that rejection I decided to just let her be. then she showed up to support me at my comedy show but pretty much completely ignored my hubby even with him standing right there and we both felt it. which made things awkward and i’m the type of person that once i’m turned off, i’m turned off. also I don’t ignore her hubby when I see him, so it was seriously uncalled for.

i’ve been telling my hubby that being bisexual gets annoying because even tho I would like to explore something with a women, I find dating to be a huge distraction, esp when I feel like I spent a lot of time already dating men. i haven’t had much luck with women. I do wanna change that because i think it would be good for me, i wanna feel whats it like to get close to a woman emotionally and romantically, I’m not close to my mom and I don’t have any sisters so maybe I do it to myself. Still, i’m tired of getting stuck in the friend zone and not having a number to call to have someone come scoop me up. but I feel like its daunting. women are hard to read and my aquarius placements can make me aloof and easily disinterested. plus, I really do like dick more than I like pussy, but the last thing I wanna do is date a man, unless he wants to spoil me monetarily.

however, I feel like this is my selfish creative era, i’m serious when I say I wanna be well known comedian and writer so dating others will just have to wait until i’m rich and famous and I can reject everyone gracefully.

i haven’t been feeling too motivated to write, i’ve had this post in my drafts since the first week of June but i’m sitting at a kava lounge that I found on a trip to scranton, pa, yes the infamous scranton pa from the office. i’ve always wanted to come here and since my hubs is here for work the next two weeks I decided it was time, even tho the majority of the office was not filmed in scranton. boo. however i decided to check out some of the sites that were in the show. maybe its because i’ve been in summer vaca mom mode but she’s away at her dads for the next 2 weeks so now I have no excuse.

i feel so grateful however, my life has been pretty sweet lately and my brain is a complainer but I honestly cant complain. being sad and depressed gets addicting and I know I was addicted to being low and negative for a long time. but everyday i wake up with more and more joy and its kinda scary because i know nothing lasts forever but i know that staying in the present and not worrying about the future is the only sane way to live. also being on meds constantly for two years now has made one hell of a difference. call me crazy but this shit does work.

ive been taking another social media break because gooddamn is it a dark void that just sucks your soul and energy. esp if all you do is consume content. but i know that if i really wanna put myself out there, i gotta be on fuckin social media and its wack but it is what it is. i’ve been thinking about starting a tiktok for suave because the world needs him.

i’ve been lowkey drinking again, summertime tends to bring out the drinker in me but i’ve been trying to balance it and give myself a week or two break, then i’ll have an expresso martini or two only in social settings, honestly this is why I choose not to leave my house, I no longer drink in my house and for that i’m hella proud. i keep telling myself that the older I get, the stronger i’ll become and my interest in alcohol will be less and less. that’s the hope at least, i’m proud to say that I have nooo desire o be drunk but being buzzed/tipsy is still a fun feeling for me. and also sex just is sooo much more fun and liberating with when your buzz but i do like and have had alot of sober sex, sometime i miss tipsy sex. so if i wanna fuck, i wanna drink and vice versa. my hubby sluted me out sooo good last night, my vagina was hairy as fuck but he went in there like it was his last meal. it wasn’t.

so hence why i’m here at a kava lounge drinking kratom and kava with sauve. last night my hubs and I ate some of the best god damn Italian food i’ve ever had, the place was called Bellas in North Scranton and holy fuck it was mouth fucking watering, I allowed myself one pomegrante martini and it hit me after a few sips, it was tempting to order another one but I didn’t, however, I just fucked up 3 donut from krispy kreme and called it dinner so yeah balance.